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THIS MONTH is all about
revenge; the kind that only fictional characters can dish out...
One has always felt a bit
sorry for The Children of Ian Beale: While it has been handy
counting their father’s wives to learn basic math skills,
something has always been lacking at home. While he always tells
everyone how important they are, he alternately ignores them and
disappoints them at the first chance to indulge his opportunism.
This month Lucy has had enough. Already a tearaway, this month she
becomes a runaway...
Ian has become even more of
a bore telling every random person he encounters that he’ll be
meeting the Queen. Then Lucy tears up Ian’s invitation to The
Palace. Thinking that’s that, he tells her that she is more
important to him than meeting the Queen and they should spend the
day together instead. Then he finds out he can get a replacement
invitation, and breaks his promise. So Lucy hatches a plan for
revenge. Ian and Jane plan to spend the night before the Big Day,
at a hotel in town, so Lucy puts a notice up on the internet that
there’s a party at her place. On the day, when Christian is
supposed to baby sit and take them all out, Lucy fakes cramps, and
say she wants to stay home. Christian falls for it. While they’re
out, all sorts of punks show up and they completely trash the
entire house, inside and out, while others on the Square laugh
(except Charlie Slater, who calls the Old Bill). The cops call Ian
and Jane at the hotel, and they rush home to find the house in a
shambles. He confronts a drunken Lucy who says he ruined her life
by not letting her go with her Mum. He screams that she is just
like her Mum. She slaps him. He slaps her back. She goes up to her
room, but the next morning she’s gone. She cannot be found
anywhere. They call the cops, they search, but she’s gone, and Ian
is desperate to find her...
Elsewhere around the
Square...Pat returns from her vacation in Spain to announce that
she is selling her house and moving out there for good...For some
bizarre reason, even though Hazel has left, Minty, Garry and
Heather are still trying to win the prize money for a dream
wedding from the bridal magazine; going so far as to have Heather
pose as Hazel. To make matters more complicated, Shirley and
Heather have lost their flat and moved in with Garry and Minty. An
obviously desperate Minty draws closer to Heather...And Shirley
finds a lump in her breast, giving her yet another reason to be
drunk and disorderly, summink Phil finds irresistible. He takes
her to her appointments, and they draw closer as well (much to
Ben’s delight)...
Now to Tanya and
Max...Tanya hatches a plan; she asks Max to move back in to lull
him into a false sense of security, but telling him that to prove
he is worthy of her trust, he must sign over half ownership in all
their property to her. She plans to leave him as soon as he signs.
But he has no plans to file the papers. She watches him sign, but
once she’s out of sight, he tears the papers up. When she finds
the torn contracts, her plan gets darker: She is going to kill
him. She lures Sean into helping her. Even though he protests, and
tries to talk her out of it (saying he loves her and the kids and
they don’t need Max’s money; they should just leave together) she
insists that as soon as Max is gone they can be together. She
plans a romantic dinner, she drugs the wine, and when Max blacks
out, Sean helps her carry Max out to a waiting van, and coffin
(that Tanya has instructed Sean to buy), and they take him out
into Epping Forest to bury him. He awakens groggily as they are
putting him into the ground and we watch a harrowing scene as
Tanya seals the coffin and they start to cover him with dirt as he
is screaming to be let out. In the coffin a desperate Max is using
the light from his cell phone to try to get out and to phone
people (great reception underground - I can’t even get reception
in my elevator), but no one he calls answers; he keeps getting
voice mails. Then his batteries go dead...
Tanya and Sean drive back
to the Square, but Tanya is haunted and in the middle of the night
she drives back to where they buried him and digs him up! He is
still alive but weak, and he tries to strangle her, but gives up
and she tells him to look at what he’s driven her too. He agrees
to leave her and the kids, and leave her everything. She tells the
kids he’s on a business trip. She tells Sean they are through and
that she was just using him. A heartbroken Sean is now about to go
around the twist. We can see the signs; he starts sleeping on the
bench in front of Tanya’s house, then he breaks the windows at
Booty, then he somehow cuts an underground electrical cable and
causes the whole Square to have a blackout. Call us kooky, but
we’re starting to think this boy might have issues...Ah love;
who’ll have it?
IT’S ABOUT TIME!: It was
announced that the amazing June Brown, also know as the immortal
Dot Cotton Branning, has been named to the Queen’s Honors List,
and will be getting an OBE. We have no idea why it’s taken so long
for her to be named. We’re just glad that she’s FINALLY being
honored, as she deserves. Congrats to June!
LATE BREAKING NEWS: It has
just been announced that PBS Station KOCE is cancelling EE in LA
and Orange County, CA. The last broadcast will be. June 27. EE
fans in the LA area are having a get together on Sunday, July 20,
at 1pm in Burbank, where this, among other things will be
discussed. If you would like more information please contact Jan
Austin:
EEWestJan@yahoo.com
If you’d like to keep up
with all things EastEnders, just sign up for our FREE, weekly
e-newsletter, ‘The E20 Chronicles’, by emailing us here at the
Launderette:
dgishcabibble20@aol.com.
Signed,
Your Faithful Reporter,
Deborah Gilbert, AKA
Ishcabibble |
